I've been in the planning stages of a few new projects. The current pandemic has me fighting through creative blocks so often. I have realized that for me, life adventures, going to different neighborhoods, talking with people from varying social circles, chatting with passing strangers, gave me a lot of creative ideas pre-Covid. Even driving in my car with music has given me some great creative ideas. The last year has taken much of those experiences away, that I have been struggling to have artistic ideas be plentiful. It's been more like a passing shower than a rainy season of creativity. Some days it's all I can do to feed my family, care for my animals, take a walk and do selfceare, let alone have creativity appear.
The recent news reports on the increase of teen suicide, kids as young as Middle School... Ack, that added some anxiety for me as a mother! The increases in Adult depression, and/or substance/alcohol abuse is also being reported to be on the rise. I have two teenagers, so I've been spending time doing some research on the signs of depression. What is the difference between down days and depression? It feels like the down days are so frequent right now, so how do you know as a parent? I have even asked myself, could I be experiencing depression or just Pandemic down days? It feels like 2020 and 2021 is this prolonged rollercoaster ride. One that we can't get off of, well the ride is not ending anytime soon. The collective grief is substantial and it's not going away, we are living through a collective traumatic event. So what does all this have to do with Art? Some of you might have heard the saying, Art can help society process collective grief. An example of this was in a CNN article, "Whether portraying others' grief or revealing their own, artists are often able tap into something universal." To read more from the CNN article here is the link. www.cnn.com/style/article/grief-grievance-culture-queue-wellness/index.html Part of my early stages of planning this sculpture was watching some television commercials that sell antidepressant medication, specifically Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), like Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft. This brought me to the materials stage. Not having current access to a kiln, creating in clay is not a possibility. Paper mache would feel too light, and I want the pill(s) to have weight to them, be large and heavy. Imagine the pill is in your hand and you wonder how you will take this large exaggerated pill? In part, I hope to help take away some of the stigmata of mental health issues. In addition, acknowledging that 2020-2021 is requiring more from us than we have ever had to give. At least in the last few generations, with the exception of the Great Depression, World War II, the Vietnam War, and the September 11th attacks, Covid19 is proving to be a colossal challenge. I know those events occurred and I remember September 11th very vividly. Covid19 is proving to be a colossal challenge The pandemic is lasting longer than I could have imagined and the impact on daily life, even a year after it begun is still profound. Life has changed in drastic ways and I long for my remembered past. It's often impossible for me to process my own grief fully most days. This weekend was step one for this project, the mixing the plaster that I will be carving. I've added a few photos below of the process of mixing #1 Pottery Plaster as it's always an interesting adventure. Even this activity though, brought back memories of the last time I mixed and poured plaster about two years ago. It was with other sculpture artists, we worked as a team had a fun afternoon, while we shared the work and chatted. Putting on my N95 mask this weekend to protect myself from inhaling the plaster dust was also a reminder. The poor mask is on its last leg and N95 masks are impossible to buy because of Covid19. I'm confronting the grief I'm carrying all the time, even while working on a sculpture related to depression, grief and mental heath. Stay safe and reach out for support if you need it! I included some resources from the CDC and resources/phone numbers for hotlines, like the National Suicide Prevention hotline. From Stanford Medicine, COVID-19 Q&A: Dr. Debra Kaysen on Individual and Collective Stress & Grief: med.stanford.edu/psychiatry/about/covid19/stress.html From the CDC website: www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html The COVID-19 pandemic has had a major effect on our lives. Many of us are facing challenges that can be stressful, overwhelming, and cause strong emotions in adults and children. Public health actions, such as social distancing, are necessary to reduce the spread of COVID-19, but they can make us feel isolated and lonely and can increase stress and anxiety. Learning to cope with stress in a healthy way will make you, the people you care about, and those around you become more resilient. Stress can cause the following:
If you are in crisis, get immediate help:
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I'm currently taking a Sculpture class in order to have some social interactions, all be it via zoom, with other artists and our amazing instructor. Isolation for me, makes creating Art more difficult. I always get ideas when driving, listening to music and talking to people. I've not achieved a lot of driving since March 2020. Good for the environment, not great for inspiration. For our first prompt, the whole class was challenged with creating something that makes us feel uncomfortable or embarrassed from Art21. So many ideas went though my head, however we were asked to not have the piece be of the human body. Have you seen my art? I work with concepts that surround the human body, or some of its parts. Later that same day, I was getting a tangerine. I noticed the bowl of lemons next to the tangerines had a few moldy ones in the bowl. I'm a tactile person and fishing out moldy 'anything' is a bit challenging for me. Got to do it, so I did and * BANG* that's what I would create, moldy lemons. The initial though behind this sculpture was very tactile and visceral. Creating wool felting to mimic mold? Wool felting has fuzzy qualities so it felt (no pun intended) doable. The idea of infection came to mind very shortly after because of the pandemic. Let's be serious, current events regarding police brutality toward brown/black skinned people is also mixed into this sculpture. It only takes one moldy lemon (or apple), any bunch of what have you, to start a chain reaction. All of a sudden everything is infected. Connecting spreading anything with the current health crisis is an easy step. The need to physically distance from others so we don't come in contact with virus particles. This pandemic we are living through is so physically and emotionally draining, and presents many challenges. The fear of contamination is running through our daily lives, in ways most of us have not had to think about before. When I work in my studio, I often listen to a podcast to keep me company. When that is not giving me enough of an energy boost, I usually put my downloaded iTunes music on song shuffle. At a crucial point in creating this piece, the song Freedom by Beyoncé's Lemonade album came on. At the end of the song, an older woman's voice is heard saying: "I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade." This fit like a puzzle piece for me. My own grandmother who was born in 1909, and lost her own mother to influenza when she was just 9 years old, used to say, "Make lemonade if life gives you lemons." This piece is a statement on that saying but I wanted to look deeper than the idea of making something good out of a bad situation. What if individuals lack basic necessities; like food, housing, clean water, competitive/equal pay? How do they turn that into lemonade? If we, as a society continue to place obstacles in the way of so many people, provide subpar resources, how will they be able to make-do or better yet, turn their lives into something positive. In the sculpture, only one out of the seven lemons is left unscathed from the mold. For now. |
AuthorAn Artist, mother of two teenagers, lived in San Francisco most of my life with the short exceptions of Las Vegas, NV, Portland, OR and almost four years in the South of France. Currently in Portland, OR. ArchivesCategories |